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Marriage 101: Commitment or bust!

Jennifer Hallmark,

et’s talk about commitment; something we need in any relationship we intend to have on this earth. Relationships with your spouse, children, pets, at work; none will succeed unless there is commitment on your part and theirs. Yes, even the dog has to commit to not running away to the neighbors…

Let me share an example, a more recent example in my own life to illustrate the point.

What to do? I sat seething with anger, almost unable to grasp the enormity of the question my husband Danny was asking me to entertain. Though Danny had stopped farming for a few years after his father passed away, we had eventually bought some cows and two chicken houses to raise poultry. Farming for fifteen years besides his regular job had been hard and a month after our 21st wedding anniversary we sold everything to move to a house with a yard and nothing else. Boredom had quickly set in without the animals to work with and the camaraderie of the other cattle and chicken growers and he had come to me with an itch to go back. Now he was asking me to once again invest money to farm just because he missed it.

We had already discussed this before we sold our farm and house, going through all the problems that come with that plus building another house. Together we had decided it was best all around; it was his idea to start with. I had no problem; there was always plenty for me to do with teenage children and community, family, and church activities to tend to. Now he wanted to borrow a substantial amount of money and step back into a life I was very comfortable without…

What to do?

This is where commitment comes into play…no, every time you decide to stay committed will not be as drastic as this day but if you think you can go long without telling yourself you are in this for life you are wrong. Marriage is commitment: everyday I commit to stay in this relationship and do what I can to make it work.

This sounds serious and it is but just think of the rewards. You commit to your spouse and you have someone to spend a lifetime with, you commit to raising your children and one day you might get grandchildren; and yes it is worth the wait. You commit to take care of your pet and you have a friend for life and commitment at work many times leads to promotion, experience and new opportunity.

Relationship with no commitment is doomed to failure. Think this out…if we don’t commit to sticking out school, we don’t graduate. Don’t commit to your job and see how long it lasts. So it goes with friends, family and even pets. Don’t feed Rover for a few days and he will probably find better pickings elsewhere.

Use common sense and peace will be a byproduct of commitment. Peace? How does that play in? Settle this issue in your mind now that you are committed regardless and choose to believe the best about your spouse and watch the peace begin to flow.

Back to our story…Remember Danny asking me to reinvest in farming? I choose to stay committed and listened to his argument for farming and three years later it has worked well. Instead of working a forty hour week, I help on the farm and commit my time to pursue my writing career…which is what I wanted all along.

Simply Marriage 101…


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Jean, 2009-03-25 19:20:04
Commitment-- Enjoyed the article. Staying commited is very hard at times. At the end it usually pays off. Waiting for your next article.

Amy, 2009-03-13 14:24:59
Marriage 101-- Great article. Gave me a new way to look at commitment. Keep up the good work!

Rejoice, 2009-03-13 09:22:01
Marriage 101-- Enjoyed your article. Commitment is a challenge at times but well worth the investment. Keep up the good work.

JO, 2009-03-09 11:54:39

PD, 2009-03-09 08:58:56
marriage-- Great points you made...sometimes chosing to stay to committed is definitely the hard road. Thanks for the thoughts!

newly committed, 2009-03-07 06:41:15
marriage 101-- Thanks for the reminder! I need to stay committed to work even when things don't go as planned!

thm, 2009-03-06 18:10:34
Marriage 101-- Hey loved the article about marriage 101. You explained commitment easy for all to understand.

Eduardo, 2009-03-06 16:15:58
I Agree-- Would love to work on my own chicken farm! Keep up the writing.

patsy, 2009-03-06 15:09:59
committment-- Enjoyed this article--I can relate to farm life and to committment although I sometimes do it through clinched teeth.

Tori, 2009-03-06 12:02:11
Marriage 101-- Very well said...glad things worked out for the positive.


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