Dare to be YOU!
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We All Have a Cause That We Believe In - I Certainly Do

Tamia McDonald Pizey ,

ife truly is simply one huge circle, we all only get one chance to leave our very own personal stamp upon the crumbling-society that we now live in... it is up to us how we actually do this and therefore what impression we leave once we have gone.

In the womb we are protected from harm - supposedly, we are nurtured and 'shielded' from the outside world until the day comes when take our very first breath & our own unique life-cycle begins.

Some of us are lucky enough to be raised within the love and comfort of a 'true' warm, secure and loving environment and for me personally I had always 'believed' that this was also true for me... unfortunately from the very tender age of only twelve years of age I was to learn one of the cruelest lessons that so many children continue to suffer every day.

I was abused by a family member, (someone whom I had always thought that I could trust implicitly), this happened again when I was approximately fourteen years of age, (it could have happened again when I was around five months pregnant with my second child only I was stronger by then and made sure that he knew if he ever did try and touch me again I would reveal his terrible secret).

There are those I know who ask themselves why I did not come forward the first time it happened... all I can say to that is this... I was terrified of tearing my family to pieces so I remained quiet. I know the man who became part of the reason that my life spiralled out of control is no more and he will answer to a much higher authority.

I then, at the tender age of sixteen years of age, married someone whom because of vocation I believed would only ever love and protect me... he was a soldier in the British army. As it turned out, also a deadly silent abusive monster. However because I was still very young and had a lot of pride I decided that I had to try and make it work.

Fourteen and a half years, and three children later, after years of being poked, pushed, pulled, spat at, having my hair pulled, having a knife held to my throat, (as well as being held by the throat), being slapped, punched, called vile names and having to watch as scalding-hot food rained down upon my children, the end finally came.

I was left angry, bewildered and disgusted when reagardless of what I had told my solicitor, my ex-husband was still allowed to have our children visit at the weekends... not even in my most horrific nightmares did I envision the torment that he soon put our children through.

It was my eldest child who first broke the terrible silence... from that moment on our lives were never the same... physical and psycholical abuse had been a world in which my daughter had been forced to endure as she realised that if she spoke out her sister and brother would suffer more too, and she refused to allow that to happen.

However, the chameleon soon shed his camouflage and in truth my children had been living in a world of intimidation and fear - their 'father'(the demon as I now refer to him) told my children that if they ever said anything then he would see to it that I came to some harm and therefore they would never see me again.

As the terrifying, soul-destroying truth emerged I knew that the time had finally come to put a stop to the demon's rein of terror. A lengthy court-case ensued, and I had to sit and watch as the demon once again became the actor that he had always portrayed to his family and the rest of the outside world when we were married.

He came across as a poor misunderstood man who portrayed 'HIMSELF' as the 'VICTIM'... he played for the sympathy vote as his solicitor claimed that I had 'put the children up to' maligning him, writing hurtful material about him and generally trying to destroy his life. HOWEVER, due to the fact that our then ten year old son had tried to hang himself as a final cry for help and the fact that the demon had upon two seperate occasions attempted to kick my door down, it was decided that although there was not any significant evidence against him regarding the abuse of our children, he was only given communication with the children in the form of letters.

It was approximately three months later when much to my children's disgust and heartbreak that their father 'ADMITTED' to everything that he had done to them and asked for their 'FORGIVENESS'... once again he had played the game to perfection as he was only too aware that the children's and my severe mental exhaustion would stop us from pursuing another attempt at having him prosecuted.

Now my children & and are trying our best to 'move-on'. Regular counselling is obviously needed as the mental scars will obviously 'NEVER' heal, (my eldest daughter lives with permanent damage to her right arm after her father dislocated her arm and shattered all the nerves for good measure). We are all now living in a new area after I was forced 'once-again' to take my children and run to a place of safety after the demon and another family member threatened our lives because we spoke out.

Here is the 'punchline'... I have been told that I was 'WRONG' to protect my children and should have stayed where we were. We were threatened with being 'hunted-down', and so I asked the police for their help. They 'GAVE THOSE CONCERNED A WARNING'and worst of all it has been deemed that because I took my children away from any harm that may have befallen them I made us all intentionally homeless and therefore we will not receive any assistance to help us find a new home.

The truth is that if any harm had come to us (especially my children) I still do not think the police or others involved in the hell that we have been forced to endure would care. So as a mother, a wife and a human-being I am afraid that I have no faith left in the law or our society as a whole anymore.

If protecting my children is 'WRONG'... then in truth society truly has gone mad.

I am 41 years of age, the mother of three children who are aged 19, 16 & 13 years of age. I am married for the second time, I am an avid music lover, I love to read as well as write poems & short stories, (I also enjoy topical novels).

I am, along with my children, a survivor of domestic-violence & abuse, (the poetry I tend to write is inspired by events in our lives as well as being biographical).
My other loves are studying North-American Indian and Chinese philosophy.


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